As you know, Sun's open source software and microprocessor strategy has been, at times controversial. We've filled trade journals and chat rooms with all kinds of dialog and the occasional crackpot conspiracy theory.
As many have rightly assumed from the outset, that controversy was, in fact, not a byproduct of the strategy - it was the strategy: if you're talking about Sun, you're not talking about the other guy. And then you'll buy a datacenter.
But now that we've firmly established our reputation for open source leadership, I'm very worried there's no more controversy to be had. There's too much trust in the system, and too much clarity around our strategic intent. So it's getting tougher and tougher to kick up a storm - and we can't very well spend a billion dollars or change our ticker symbol every time we want to generate a headline. Now can we?
So today I'd like to unfurl the second chapter of our strategy.
We want you to give it all back. You couldn't possibly believe we'd let you keep it, did you?
We specifically request that all free software originally distributed by Sun Microsystems, related to software or microprocessors, including but not limited to source files, binaries, derivatives, extensions, applications, patents, patent applications, copyrights, ideas, thoughts, and derivative thoughts, along with any and all mirrors thereof, be returned immediately.
In addition, (we know this is the risky part, but we need to get the privacy advocates twittering, too), we demand all data processed, stored or created by such intellectual property, up to and including all data held within file systems, databases or open source productivity applications be returned, as well. Up to and including the book report your kid just typed on OpenOffice.
We'd like to request this all be returned within thirty days.
Thank you for your understanding.
______________________________
And although it pains me to say this, we do live in a litigious society, so: YES, this is an April Fool's joke, as defined by relevant sections of the United States Securities Act of 1933.
Tagi: microprocessor strategy, open source software, sun microsystems, trade journals, april fool, strategic intent, litigious society, byproduct, crackpot, source files, thirty days, microprocessors, ticker symbol, datacenter, outset, chat rooms, derivatives,
The original Horizon H-Racer hydrogen fuel-cell toy just got an update: Before, you could fill it with water and let 'er rip. Now, you can actually steer the bastard.
The new kit—because it may look like a race car but let's be honest, it's a science edu-toy—still comes with the solar panel and hydrogen station so that you can use the sun's rays to convert H2O to H2 and O2. But the car itself now has glowing LEDs, responds to an IR remote, and runs longer and faster with the same amount of fuel. Taking a cue from auto makers and gas companies who release literally green advertisements to convince the public they aren't part of the problem, Horizon decided to change the car's translucent tint from blue to, yes, green. The difference, of course, is that Horizon definitely isn't part of the problem. Only time will tell, however, if they are part of the solution. Meantime, here's a fun Christmas gift for anyone that still has $120 to spend on progress! [Horizon via Gizmag]
Tagi: hydrogen fuel cell, science edu, s rays, horiz, fuel cells, auto makers, mdash, solar panel, compas, race car, h2, bastard, stati, o2, cue, horizon, ing, sun
If you'd like the backstory on the April Fool's video making its way around Sun (below)... it goes like this.
My normally trustworthy administrator let me know I had a lunch appointment with my normally trustworthy friend, Ted. So I went to a normally trustworthy restaurant, where the normally trustworthy host walked me to my table - and past a series of video cameras I foolishly didn't notice. Ted lets me know he's managed to connect with Dan, a normally trustworthy colleague, who's put him in touch with a technical expert I might be interested in meeting.
Ted lets me know the guest is flying up from Los Angeles. And that he's been in an accident that might impair his ability to speak. Pay special attention at minute five, marking the first time I've seen anyone make a chicken out of a dinner napkin.
Let me be the first to point out that the video shown was highly edited. The good (and, notwithstanding this prank, normally trustworthy) people who edited the footage exercised appropriate restraint for a global audience unaccustomed to diluvian drooling. How uncomfortable was it at the table? Having watched the unedited version with a Sun colleague before it was posted externally, she remarked, "Look how well your Mother raised you, you didn't even stare."
On a far more civil note, Sun's headquarters were also attacked by a herd of squeaky dolphins yesterday, swimming in formation from right to left... rumor has it they were on their way to meet with a representative of their community who now leads our database business.
Oh, and Bill Macgowan is still at Sun.
I hold him personally responsible for my designation as the real poisson d'avril (dolphins aren't fish, after all, they're mammals), and I'll forever view him with a lingering suspicion... but he's still here.
Tagi: poisson d avril, friend ted, dinner napkin, global audience, trustworthy friend, april fool, database business, video cameras, technical expert, backstory, mammals, dolphins, colleague, fh, herd, appointment, peoe, lunch, sun
The original Horizon H-Racer hydrogen fuel-cell toy just got an update: Before, you could fill it with water and let 'er rip. Now, you can actually steer the bastard.
The new kit—because it may look like a race car but let's be honest, it's a science edu-toy—still comes with the solar panel and hydrogen station so that you can use the sun's rays to convert H2O to H2 and O2. But the car itself now has glowing LEDs, responds to an IR remote, and runs longer and faster with the same amount of fuel. Taking a cue from auto makers and gas companies who release literally green advertisements to convince the public they aren't part of the problem, Horizon decided to change the car's translucent tint from blue to, yes, green. The difference, of course, is that Horizon definitely isn't part of the problem. Only time will tell, however, if they are part of the solution. Meantime, here's a fun Christmas gift for anyone that still has $120 to spend on progress! [Horizon via Gizmag]
Tagi: hydrogen fuel cell, science edu, s rays, horiz, fuel cells, auto makers, mdash, solar panel, compas, race car, h2, bastard, stati, o2, cue, horizon, ing, sun
The original Horizon H-Racer hydrogen fuel-cell toy just got an update: Before, you could fill it with water and let 'er rip. Now, you can actually steer the bastard.
The new kit—because it may look like a race car but let's be honest, it's a science edu-toy—still comes with the solar panel and hydrogen station so that you can use the sun's rays to convert H2O to H2 and O2. But the car itself now has glowing LEDs, responds to an IR remote, and runs longer and faster with the same amount of fuel. Taking a cue from auto makers and gas companies who release literally green advertisements to convince the public they aren't part of the problem, Horizon decided to change the car's translucent tint from blue to, yes, green. The difference, of course, is that Horizon definitely isn't part of the problem. Only time will tell, however, if they are part of the solution. Meantime, here's a fun Christmas gift for anyone that still has $120 to spend on progress! [Horizon via Gizmag]
Tagi: hydrogen fuel cell, science edu, s rays, horiz, fuel cells, auto makers, mdash, solar panel, compas, race car, h2, bastard, stati, o2, cue, horizon, ing, sun
As you know, Sun's open source software and microprocessor strategy has been, at times controversial. We've filled trade journals and chat rooms with all kinds of dialog and the occasional crackpot conspiracy theory.
But now that we've firmly established our reputation for open source leadership, I'm very worried there's no more controversy to be had. There's too much trust in the system, and too much clarity around our strategic intent. So it's getting tougher and tougher to kick up a storm - and we can't very well spend a billion dollars or change our ticker symbol every time we want to generate a headline. Now can we?
The original 
Taking a cue from auto makers and gas companies who release literally green advertisements to convince the public they aren't part of the problem, Horizon decided to change the car's translucent tint from blue to, yes, green. The difference, of course, is that Horizon definitely isn't part of the problem. Only time will tell, however, if they are part of the solution. Meantime, here's a fun Christmas gift for anyone that still has $120 to spend on progress! [
